Two things men do that drive me nuts.

1.) Going out to clubs five guys deep.

There is nothing more hilarious than the conversations that take place among men before going out on a Saturday night. Every one of them is confident they are going to get laid. As if they will meet a group of five girls and each one of those girls will have a crush on each one of those guys without anyone liking the same person. And, all ten of them will mosey on back to the after party where everyone will go into one of the five rooms available and have sex until dawn. It will all happen perfectly like the plot of a Bangbus movie. Here’s the deal. First of all, nothing repels women more than five guys standing together at the club. You look like a wild pack of dogs. Especially when you borrowed each other’s cologne and dress so similar that you look like a cult. Aside from her feeling like she is walking into a gang rape scenario, she is a lot less likely to respond to you for fear that you are merely attempting to impress your friends. Whenever you hit on a woman in front of your boys, you look less interested in the girl, and more interested in showing your boys you can get girls. Women know this. This is why when men go out clubbing five guys deep, almost always, all of them go home empty handed. Instead of “scoring,” they wind up cuffing it to porn or sexting some chick they met months ago they’re not that into, who will simply have to suffice for the evening. I hear guys tell me all the time, I’m so sick of spending every weekend at the club and wasting a ton of money on drinks, only to not meet any women. It’s a real simple solution. If you want to meet girls, go out by yourself. Dress nice, smell good and go out by yourself. It shows confidence to go out by yourself. When you approach a woman, she knows you’re not trying to impress anyone. If you’re worried she thinks you have no social life because you’re by yourself, than start up conversations with a few random strangers and show them that you can socialize. Don’t just stand in the corner and hold up the wall all night with your beer in front of your chest like your trying to protect yourself from a good time. And for heavens sake, do not get intoxicated. Nothing makes a man look more like a loser to a woman than being hammered. Go out by yourself, be social and don’t be afraid to talk to women like they’re just people. I promise, women are just people.

2.) Stop hitting on waitresses.

You think your friends think you have game by doing this, but you’re wrong. Hitting on waitresses is actually a clear sign you don’t have game. Why? Because they have to talk to you. It’s their fucking job to talk to you. It would be like buying a packaged salmon in the grocery store and then claiming it makes you a good fisherman. You left your number on the back of the receipt? Oh wow, so did the other 60 limp-dick fuck boys before you. You know what? She won’t call any of you. Confident men will walk up to a woman and start a conversation. Only insecure men will wait until a woman has to talk to them and take advantage of it. Beautiful women who work in the service industry get paid on tips, and therefore being friendly and chatty is part of their job description. Do not confuse her doing her job with flirting with you. I’m not saying that there aren’t waitresses who enjoy a compliment or appreciate a little flirtatiousness. I’m just saying it’s impossible for a man to determine genuine interest during a waitress/customer interaction and some guys take it to a level of awkward discomfort. And, if the place is packed and she is busy, there is really nothing in the world more fucking rude than distracting her from her job with classless comments. You know what waitresses are thinking while they are at work? They’re thinking about how underpaid they are for dealing with idiots like you. They’re thinking about the 18 people they served today who expected top notch service and didn’t tip for shit. They’re thinking about how badly they can’t wait to be home and rest their sore feet they’ve been on all day. They’re daydreaming about how awesome it will feel to take off that uncomfortable bra and those god awful black pants their forced to wear, throw on a t-shirt & sweats and binge watch their favorite Netflix series over a glass of pinot. The last thing they’re thinking about is you, or whatever cheesy fucking pick-up line you used while they were just trying to give you your Eggs Benedict. There is a tactful way to let a waitress know you’re interested without coming off like a desperate pussy-starved clown. For instance, you could come back another day by yourself without getting seated, approach her and ask her if she’ll go out for coffee with you on one of her days off.